That Awkward Moment: Breastfeeding & Working (part 2)

(I know, I know, I've been terrible about blogging lately...)

In honor of Christopher being 10 months old today and the fact that I have officially made it to 10 months of breastfeeding my little guy, something awkward had to happen around the topic of breastfeeding right?

Monday's are a special little day we like to call at work "war room day"... I sit in a conference room all.day.long. with some of my closest coworkers to work on European projects & video conference with our EU colleagues.

Well, I went to leave the war room to go to the lactation room in the building and a male coworker was walking out behind me.  The lactation room is a hop skip & a jump away from the room we were so he was going to see me "sneak in" even though I'm pretty sure everyone knows that I am a nursing mother.  (Or so I thought.)  To my surprise after I open the door he is right behind me saying "I've always wanted to see what is in this room!"  In my mind, I was thinking "wow, you want to see the inside of a lactation room?  I mean, it holds liquid gold but how did you know what was in here?" but of course I just kind of stare at him politely not really sure what to say.

The next words out of his mouth (after seeing the fridge, the sink, the lockers and the microwave) are "so what is this room?".  I looked at him and just said "A lactation room."  His response was the classic "Oh!  Okay..." as he scampered down the hallway clearly embarrassed he asked.  I called out behind him "Hey, you asked!"

This was a conversation with the father of 2 children...

That Awkward Moment: Breastfeeding & Working

When you're at your company's on-site medical center nursing your baby in the waiting room when your CEO walks in....

When you have your milk cooler in hand and you're walking the 20 feet to go pump and your previous boss stops you and says "going to have a snack?" and you just stare blankly...

When you're training 20 or so of your colleagues in the largest conference room in your department and your Outlook calendar reminder to pump pops up on the big screen... And then it happens again during the next training session you have to give...

Pumping at Work

This is only my own reflection on breastfeeding and going back to work, everyone's choice is different.

One of my biggest struggles when going back to work with Jack was expressing breast milk for him to drink while I was at work.  I lived and learned from the experience with him and so far, I am feeling a bit more accomplished while trying to maintain breastfeeding with Christopher.  With Jack I was already supplementing with formula during the work week, but so far I am still "staying ahead" with the milk available for Christopher.  I still have things that I wish I would've done differently this time around, but baby steps right?  Here are the things that have helped me maintain my breast feeding relationship while at work:

1.  Get the hang of breastfeeding the baby first.
Make sure that the baby has a good latch and your supply is pretty well established before you pump.  (This of course goes out the window if you have a situation where your baby isn't able to nurse, i.e. he/she is in the NICU.)  I would also recommend seeing/talking to a lactation consultant when you start pumping before going back to work.  I think it would've saved me a lot of headaches when trying to figure things out with Jack.  I'm never eager to start pumping.  Pumping isn't exactly sunshine and cuddly puppies.  I willingly do it for my baby but I'm pretty indifferent to the actual process.  (By the way, when I've used my pump, it has never caused pain.)


2.  Having a good double electric pump... like every other online resource says.
Personally, I love my Ameda Purely Yours pump.  It has a closed system pump that prevents any milk from going into tubes and possibly into the motor of the pump.  I don't know how big of an issue it is for those who might use a Medela pump, but personally it was a big enough complaint that showed up in my research for me to go with the Ameda.  Plus, the most expensive Ameda breast pump package (including a bag, etc.) is the same price as the least expensive option from Medela on Babies R Us' website.  I bought my pump in 2009 (before Jack was born) and it still works just fine.  The bag is in great shape, granted I really don't use/abuse it too much.  The markings on the outside of the bottles are a little worn, but that isn't a big deal.

3.  Start pumping before your return to work.
Now this all depends on how much time you are able to take off work for maternity leave.  With Jack I took 8 1/2 weeks out of medical necessity, with Christopher I was able to take 11 weeks off.  Do I think that extra time did much for my supply or nursing relationship with Christopher?  Not really, I think it helped me more by having extra time to build my freezer stash.  With Jack, I didn't do that great about pumping routinely before going back to work and I was convinced to do better with Christopher.  Do you know how hard it is to pump with a 2 year old and a newborn when you're home by yourself?  Yeah, during the day didn't work for me.  I had to pump when Matt was home and the most convenient time ended up being around 10 p.m..  I thought I'd pump every night and build my freezer stash, it ended up being more like 4-5 nights a week because I was tired!  I started when Christopher was about 3 weeks old adding a pumping session (not replacing a nursing session).  That was still much better than what I did with Jack.

4.  Having a [nice] place to pump at work.
I know this isn't easy for everyone, but hopefully companies are becoming more breast pump friendly.  I am very lucky that my employer has a lactation room in the 2 main buildings on our "campus".  There might even be more of which I am unaware.  I mention that I have this wonderful lactation room (complete with a sink, fridge, mini-lockers, and even a microwave to heat up lunch or a snack), but honestly I usually end up pumping in the bathroom in my building.  Now before you get all grossed out, let me explain that it is a "single-seater" with a lock on the door, a huge counter, and a sink.  And there are only 3 other women in the building.  I'm busy at work and while I absolutely don't feel guilty taking the time to pump, honestly it is sometimes hard to stop & start in the middle of a task at work.

5.  Add a pumping session in the evening or on the weekend.
Some days pumping results in more milk to store than others.  If I haven't pumped the same amount that Christopher normally eats (note: normally not on a day that he might eat more than average), I will try to pump again that night, or once or twice over the next weekend.  This has helped me stay ahead of the curve for the supply he needs each day.

What a Long Week!

Wow... could not have been a longer week, I'm pretty sure! This week begun with an all day meeting at work plus business dinner, followed by 3 days of a work conference, then yesterday we went out with friends to see a comedian! It wasn't necessarily a bad week, just pretty insane!

So because of my crazy work week, and my torn feelings I've had lately, I decided to wean Jack. Emotionally it was definitely tough, being away from my baby boy and not even feeling that connection of nursing (even through pumping I could feel that connection); not to mention physically exhausting still trying to pump a little bit so I wasn't miserable! I've been giving him his bottles a lot over the past couple of days, so that has helped me get some snuggle time in with my baby boy.

Yesterday, I took the afternoon off so I could spend some time with Jack before our night out with friends. Jack actually spent the night with my parents last night and Matt & I stayed downtown at a hotel. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was especially tough because of not getting to see him much this week.

Today was a blast! We had some friends & their kids over for fun and pizza! It had been a while since we all got together with the kids, and it was really fun to get to see Jack interact with all of the kids. He definitely sat there for a while when all the kids got here and took it all in... took him a little while to warm up to it! I guess its just a test run to run with the big dogs before his cousins come to visit in a couple of weeks! There was minimal crying and swatting of others, and surprisingly he did okay sharing his toys, haha!

I did mention going on a business dinner earlier this week... after the craziness that was this week, I decided to amend my Lenten sacrifice. I know it may be cheating, but I realized that I couldn't simply not eat at my conference or skip out at business events. I am still sticking to making sure to take my lunch to work and will be adding the goal of working out (probably using the Wii Fit for 30 minutes) 4 times a week. I hope I can keep up with the Wii, I always feel better after working out but have a hard time staying motivated. I am in a wedding next fall and summer is coming up so I'd like to be in a little bit of better shape before getting into a swimsuit or bridesmaid dress!

In other news, please pray for the victims of the earthquake in Chile. My boss is from Chile and still has family there so I am sure he is very worried and I hope he will be able to get a hold of family and friends to make sure they're okay.

Is it Friday Yet?!

Wow... Why is it that Tuesday evening, it feels like I've already worked a full 5 day week (and then some). I'm not complaining, I'd rather be busy with things to do especially because I feel very lucky to have a job in this economy.

Yesterday started out with a surprise that myself and a coworker were going to be presenting on a project to the head of R&D the next day (which would be today). This is not something that is taken very lightly by my department head... I kind of feel that sometimes he is a bit too controlling. I guess its good because he tends to be aware of what is going on, but sometimes it is hard to allow your personality to show through in your work. So, we worked on our presentation for a couple of hours, reviewed it with some senior members of our group (my direct boss included), and then putting the finishing touches on it. We reviewed it again today the hour before our meeting/presentation was scheduled and one women gets an email on her Blackberry saying that meeting is cancelled for this week. ARGH... well, our presentation is just being pushed back so we're at least prepared for when the presentation will actually happen. I am grateful for the opportunity to present to senior management. I've been told essentially that my presence isn't known at the company, and that's some of what needs to happen for me to have a chance of promotion. We've also got a lot of prep going on for our global R&D conference on top of our project load, so things are just all around super busy.

I am excited for tomorrow evening, there is a group of younger women from work getting together to play a game, drink some wine, and eat some yummy food. The summer before I got pregnant with Jack I played sand volleyball with some coworkers. Getting that time outside of work is really helpful in not only networking but being able to do things at work together. Not to mention, getting a girls' night will be a much welcomed break.

Things on the breastfeeding end of motherhood have been slightly discouraging lately. My supply seems to be going down a bit and I can't quite figure out why. I know Jack is eating more solid foods, but I keep reading that he's still supposed to be getting most of the nourishment from formula or breastmilk. But it seems that even though on the weekend when I'm nursing him full-time and only giving him solids after nursing, my supply is still low. I guess I shouldn't assume that my supply is going bad, but when I pump I'm getting far less than I had been (we're talking 50%). I keep toying with the idea of weaning him, but I don't know that I'm quite ready. I know it sounds selfish but I enjoy the time we get and honestly, I enjoy saving money. Haha, yes I know I've got weird reasons, but my feelings are all over the map on this topic!

Well, in more exciting news... JACK IS CRAWLING! He took his first on all-fours "steps" on Sunday and he's getting better and better every day. He is still doing a lot of moving around in any which way he can. Involving hands, knees, feet, and butt to get to whatever he wants... pretty cute! Luckily he's not too fast yet but we need to work on baby-proofing our house better.

Well, I'm beat and seriously need to get better sleep than I have the past couple of nights!

A Crazy Few Days!

Wednesday morning we were woken by my father-in-law calling at 4 am... I immediately knew this wasn't going to be good. My mind raced to the elderly grandparents, but we didn't know what was coming. My mother-in-law was admitted to the hospital early Wednesday in the middle of a heart attack. We are very blessed by the doctors and nurses at Mt. Carmel East hospital for the speedy work and gifted hands they used to save her life. We are also very lucky that after a minor surgery she is home, recovering & resting comfortably.

For those who heard through the grapevine, our prayer request... "Thank you". Please continue to pray for her speedy recovery!

We spend much of the past two days on the east side of town in the hospital. My parents watched Jack because children under 13 are not allowed as "visitors" due to H1N1. I knew that I wanted to be there for not only my in-laws but mainly to support my husband. I feel like this was one of the first situations where I had to choose between my husband and child in a way. I never thought twice to support my husband (as we discussed with Fr. Lonzo before getting married) in a time when I feel like he needed me a lot, my son was in the capable, loving hands of his grandparents. It only reaffirms my feelings that the best way to raise my son to be a loving husband and father is to be able to show him what a healthy strong, marriage looks like.

While I am still nursing, the past few days were rough. There wasn't every a good time or place to pump or to get back to my parents' house to nurse Jack. I am sure my supply is not doing so well, but I have nursed Jack all day (except one bottle this morning) and I plan on pumping this weekend to help boost my supply. This will be the 2nd major bout of supplementation we've had to do for Jack and I hope that my supply is able to bounce back as it did before. We shall see!

Also, to all the women out there... it is scary moments like the one in my family this past week that help us to realize how much we need to take care of ourselves. This goes for all guys too, but with heart disease as the number 1 killer of women I feel like it is especially important to offer a reminder. I hope everyone has made a New Years resolution to take good care of themselves.

Thanks again for all of the prayers! Happy New Years!

Supply and Demand... of Milk

All of the stress of the move did a number on my supply and getting back into the routine of pumping at work was not so easy! I went out for a friend's birthday last Friday so Matt had to give Jack what I had pumped the Thursday at work. Well, we had some back-up frozen and we thawed it for Monday, but it was only about 6 ounces. I had all intentions of pumping in between feeding him on Sunday, but was so exhausted I never did. It took 5 months, but we finally had to "give-in" and supplement his bottles with some formula. Let me say this loud and clear, I feel there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with formula feeding for babies... what works is different for every family and every baby. As a scientist I completely understand that formula is nutritionally complete for a baby's growth & development. Now, after saying that, I do feel a certain amount of personal pride of being to be my son's source of nourishment after his birth. Its fairly obvious that while I was pregnant he got all of his calories and nourishment to grow & develop directly from me. To be able to continue that "service" to him after he was born is a beautiful thing and something that is very important to me. I love the bonding time I get with him... to me nothing is more relaxing after a long day at work to snuggle up on the couch and feed him. Another benefit is the money saving aspect. If you know me, you know I'm a very practical person. I clip coupons for our groceries and rarely buy any clothing unless its on sale and at a good deal. I read every review I have time for before making a major purchase, or even adding things to our baby registry this past year! So, of course the fact that breastmilk is free is just another benefit. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the emotional and financial benefits of this choice we've made for our family!

Its Wednesday and my supply is finally catching back up to be able to have enough for his bottles while I'm working. Phew! I'm certainly glad it wasn't an irreversible situation!

First Week Back

Luckily, for me the dreaded "first week" went very fast! Getting to see Jack midway through the day both Monday & Tuesday helped a ton... as well as getting to take a 1/2 day on Friday. My long recovery from childbirth is kind of a blessing in disguise, short-term disability insurance covered all of my leave due to "complications" (my doctor said I have a high pain tolerance, I figured I don't have anything to compare it to). I ended up with 10 of my vacation days (which I had saved to get paid out during my leave) must be used by September 30th (end of the fiscal year)! I'm so happy, I get close to 3-day weeks until then... making my part-time transition time pretty much come true!

For all of you breastfeeding moms out there, you know its not always easy! After the first week or so of tough times I came to really appreciate the bonding & snuggle time while feeding Jack. I didn't realize I would, but I really did miss those times this week. I am still nursing when at home but I am pumping 3 times throughout the workday so Jack can get breastmilk while I'm away. Pleasantly, so far I have been able to keep up with his needs (its always daunting to plan on something that may not come easily). I can already tell it might be tricky getting those three times a day in, but I really want to make it happen!

Well, this weekend we're kind of laying low! Last night we went to the mall, I got a couple of shower gifts for my friends getting married this fall and we also got a couple of cute onsies for Jack from The Children's Place! One saying "Man of the Year" another saying "Dad's New Football Buddy" (you can guess which one Matt really likes).

We cut our night pretty close because I knew Jack was getting kinda hungry but I thought he would be fine until we got home... needless to say the last few lights we hit before home were pretty much torture! He was hungry and screaming, by time we got him home and I was nursing him there were big ole tears streaming down his face. I will always hate those situations, but it wasn't the first and I'm sure it won't be the last.

We get to go house hunting again tomorrow! We got our pre-approval letter finally (we had a verbal amount from the consultation with the mortgage broker before) and it was higher than what we want to spend, but its nice to now have in writing! There are a few houses near old Hilliard that we're going to see and one in North Clintonville just south of Worthington. Matt and I are constantly struggling with making the right decision on this... buying your first home is kinda a big deal! We plan on living there for 3-5 years; our cars are the only things we've made long-term commitments to.... well, with the exception of each other through marriage and our son through parenthood! We're so excited for this new adventure! (Its not like we haven't started anything new in the past couple of years... ha ha!)

Tonight, we're off to my parents' house and out to dinner with my family and my grandma who's coming into town from Dayton. Should be fun, but now I need to get Jack fed and dressed!

My Welcome to Blogging...

So I'm definitely new to the blogging world, but I have enjoyed reading those of friends and those on topics I've Googled (i.e. pregnancy, motherhood, cooking, etc.).

A little bit about me... I've been married to my wonderful husband and best friend, Matt, for over a year and a half. We have a beautiful 8 week old son, Jack, who is our world and our favorite entertainment. Being a mother has been an amazing experience so far and I can not wait for all of the excitement that is yet to come!

After a little over 8 weeks of maternity leave, I will be returning to work as a chemist. I know that going back to work won't be easy, but its what we have to do [for the time being.] We're blessed enough that my mom has offered to come to watch Jack while we're working. (If you've ever looked into childcare options you know how much money this will save us... can you say, college fund?)

Throughout Jack's short life I have been breastfeeding and I plan on continuing this once going back to work. I've already bought a pump and I am lucky that my work has a "Mom's Room" that I can reserve for pumping during the workday, with a fridge and lockers to store my stuff. Although I'm definitely not ashamed of breastfeeding or pumping for my son, I would feel slightly awkward lugging my pump back and forth around the office building! My main concern with trying to maintain breastfeeding is that my supply may not be able to keep up with my growing son's needs [in case I can not pump as often as he is eating], but I try to just focus on what I can do. Every blog/online article I read on working full-time and pumping says that even if you mix breast milk and formula its still a great thing for Baby. We shall see... hopefully we won't have to address supplementing with formula! That is my goal!

To make things more crazy in our life right now, we're also house-hunting! If you know me, I have moved quite a few times growing up and I truly feel it made me who I am today but I am eager to settle down for a little bit. (I have always told Matt that I am willing to move in the future.) We finally went out with the realtor last Thursday (things were a little crazy there for a while with a newborn). We saw 3 homes, one of which is a potential home for us! I keep having to remind myself that it's our first home, but I am so focused on future resale value, details, etc. The potential house is: 3 BR, 1 BA split level (built in the 70s) in a great school district and pretty good location for commuting. Positives: nice open kitchen, 2 living spaces (partially finished lower level), in a cul-de-sac, and HUGE lot (almost 1/2 acre) for in the suburbs. Downsides: no garage, only 1 bath, needs some minor cosmetic updating. All in all a good first time looking at homes, we're going out tomorrow to another area of town!